


many happy returns

by patriciaselina



Category: Exit Tunes Presents ACTORS (Album)
Genre: Birthday, Birthday Presents, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 15:30:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6615889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patriciaselina/pseuds/patriciaselina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Look what you did, Ryuunosuke!” Takato cries, throwing both his arms up in frustration, before furiously gesturing at Itto. “You are tainting the child!”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Says the one who just said he plans on offering himself to his boyfriend as a birthday present.” Ryuunosuke pushes his glasses up. “Takato, you do know that’s the most cliché way to cop out of actually buying a present, right?”</i>
</p><p>4/22/2016 - Happy birthday, Rei Ichijoudani!</p>
            </blockquote>





	many happy returns

 “Seijun,” Kouya’s been turning over the albums in his hands – the ones released last summer, this spring – as he looks at Seijun. “Whaddya think Ichijoudani- _senpai_ wants for his birthday?”

“World cleanliness,” Seijun deadpans, not even looking up from the playlist he’s curating.

“Sei-juuuuuuun. Be serious!!!”

“I _am_ ,” Seijun says, suddenly looking Kouya dead in the eye. Kouya pauses, dumbstruck, as he always seems to do whenever Seijun looks at him exactly like that. (Those eyes.) “ _Senpai_ would want that, even if he has to do all the work himself. Also another duet with Akika- _senpai_. Maybe Kiyosu- _senpai_ winning a swim meet.”

“‘ _Cantarella_ ’ and ‘ _Blackjack_ ’, then?” Kouya says, holding up the disks in front of his face. “Naa, Seijun?”

“I’m already way ahead of you,” Seijun turns his laptop around so Kouya could get a better look.

“OOH this would be PERFECT!” Kouya squeals, and Seijun winces because, well, no indoor voice, as usual, Kouya. “Hehe, just our luck _senpai_ sung enough to take up more than twenty minutes! Lunch broadcast or the one after school?”

“Kouya, we’re the only ones who run the airwaves. Who’s to say it can’t be both.”

“Perfect,” Kouya says, rubbing his hands together like the anime antagonist in those menacingly scheming Internet memes. “Hey, since our running time is a little under twenty-six minutes, maybe instead of my usual free talk I can do a little bit of a speec–”

“No speeches,” Seijun groans. “You’ll never stop.”

“Then, maybe, I can...go the shorter, poetic route? Do an ode or something?”

“No odes, we have spare running time of four minutes, Kouya, not four _hours_.”

* * *

   


First and foremost, Ryuunosuke needs to get his facts clear.

“So what you are trying to tell me is – I _cannot_ believe this – you have yet to get him a present.”

“Aw shucks, but he already _has_ the best one I could think of!” Takato says, winking, as he continues toweling his hair dry.

Ryuunosuke has a bad feeling about this. He asks anyway, because the faith begets hope and there may still be hope left in Takato Kiyosu.

“And that would be?”

“ _Me_.”

...oh who is he kidding. Takato is beyond hope.

“Takato, this is real life, not an AV.” Ryuunosuke deadpans.

“What’s an AV?” Itto says, bounding out of the shower room, fluffy towel tied across his hair. The resulting ribbon looks like bunny ears. Hozumi follows close behind him, tying the knot on the towel around Itto’s waist tighter. “Hey, hey, what are you talking ‘bouuuut??”

“Look what you did, Ryuunosuke!” Takato cries, throwing both his arms up in frustration, before furiously gesturing at Itto. “You are tainting the child!”

“Says the one who just said he plans on offering himself to his boyfriend as a birthday present.” Ryuunosuke pushes his glasses up. “Takato, you _do_ know that’s the most cliché way to cop out of actually buying a present, right?”

“Shuddup, I was jokin’. Well. Actually not, but I did get the guy something, ok, so get off my case already.” Takato says, looking for something on his phone. “Here, lookie.”

They look.

“Whoa,” Hozumi says, and keeps his mouth, responsibly, shut.

“THAT IS SUPER CUTE,” Itto gushes, almost knocking the phone off Takato’s hand in his excitement, “REALLY CUTE!!!”

“I KNOW RIGHT????” Takato squeals, just as excitedly.

“ _Great_ ,” Ryuunosuke sighs, “Now Rei is _definitely_ going to kill you.”

* * *

   


“Chiguma, not _another_ gaming binge, you were barely coherent the first time...”

“Oh, but these aren’t for me? This is – _hrrk_ – all for Rei-kun!”

“Ah, right, the birthday boy,” Mike says, nodding towards their club room door. “Kai ran off earlier muttering something about Gohonmatsu and Kiriyama and him having to teach them how not to mess up the thing with the yogurt, I didn’t get it really but what I do know is that it drove that shitty dog away from what he was _supposed_ to be doing, which was --”

“– feed you Mendaco’s March, I know,” Chiguma says, nodding to the open snack on the table, to Mike’s suddenly-red cheeks. “I stopped by earlier to see if there was space for all this in here. You two remind me of an in-game event CG, by the way.”

“You keep saying that.”

“It keeps being true,” Chiguma says, blowing his hair off his face. “Mind helping me with this?”

“Nah, too much effort.” Mike yawns.

“If you help, I’ll give you more Mendaco’s March.”

“Mehh,” Mike drawls, “Chiguma, I hate to have to tell you, but that trick lost steam the last five times you did it –”

“The special limited edition _matcha_ cream ones. With the rubber strap of Mon-tan and Men-tan. Drinking tea.”

“...where are these boxes and where do you need me to put them.”

Chiguma beams.

* * *

  


“My, my,” Tsukasa daintly places his coffee mug down on the table. “The children are kicking up quite the fuss, aren’t they.”

“Did you see Akizuki kicking up a riot earlier? _God_ , that was hilarious.” Washiho chuckles before throwing back his own drink – it’s no _sake_ , but it’s caffeine and they’ve still got classes, this would have to do. “Also apparently Gohonmatsu and Kiriyama can stand in for electric mixers at the drop of a hat. Remind me to get Ichijoudani on my side next time I get a wide-scale fieldwork project...”

“Well, ‘s a birthday, of course the kids are excited.” Kagetora leans out the window, watches Azabu calmly picking flowers from his garden, while Nanao and the others run back and forth, carrying rolled-up streamers and party poppers. Getting ready in their own ways. “All the noise, though...Ichijoudani isn’t hearing this?”

“Nah, Mit – Akika distracted him. I think they’re practicing harmonies in the Singing Club karaoke booth by now – wait what is that, am I seeing things.”

“Is something the matter, Usuki-sensei?”

“Odawara-sensei,” Washiho says, calmly, “Tell me I’m seeing things and Kiyosu is not dragging anything across the track oval.”

“Kiyosu? Where – oh.” Tsukasa looks at his swim club president skipping across the grounds, quick as Kagetora’s track-and-field club, as if he wasn’t being dragged down by – “Goodness me, that _is_ quite adorable, isn’t it.”

Kagetora laughs. “Can he use it to practice weights, or something?”

“Love,” Washiho sighs, fondly, “Makes kids do the silliest things.”

_Kiyosu’s **always** been very silly, though,_ Washiho thinks, but doesn’t say.

* * *

 

“Shirou, geez, what took you so long? _Buchou_ ’s coming back soon! We don’t have much time!”

“Chill, Kakeru,” Shirou says, cheerily, balancing the scrolls in his hands. “Last I heard from Hinata, they were still discussing music in the recording booth. We’re totally in the clear.”

Kakeru sighs. Clearly all this snooping around and hiding has taken a toll on him. Last year was okay, they just got a cake and streamers and that was it, but for some reason, this year, the whole school decided to chip in? Ashihara and Yuyama had _buchou_ ’s songs in their broadcast and at last count Akizuki was being all Drill Sergeant McNasty on Gohonmatsu and Kiriyama over cakes. Not that Kakeru is against this at all, mind – Rei- _buchou_ is awesome and the more people appreciate his birth, the better – but this is all just so tiring and Kakeru wants to nap somewhere for, like, ten minutes...

“Make up your mind, Kakeru,” Shirou chuckles. “Are you too pumped up or too sleepy? God, it feels like I’m talking to two people.”

“Shuddup, just help me set this up. Gohonmatsu and Kiriyama are still busy with the cake, damn it.” Kakeru grouses.

“I thought you didn’t like them around?”

“If they were here they’d do the heavy lifting and I could rest.”

Shirou tsk-tsk-tsks in sympathy. Kakeru is too tired to figure out if he wasn’t being sarcastic. “It’s okay, Kakeru, you can rest after you help me with the banner and balloons.”

“You designed the backdrop, you...do the thing.”

“Kakeru,” Shirou says, his voice suddenly deadpan and a teeny bit frightening. “I cannot believe I have to spell this out to you, but: look at us.”

Kakeru does. Looks from Shirou, head to toe, to his own hands, and he finally gets it, eyes bright and shining –

“Oh, right, bro, you’re tiny!”

“Aaaaaaand it’s off to assembly with you,” Shirou hums, pushing his friend back into their club room. Excuse him, Shirou is not small, it’s just not his fault all his friends are friggin’ _trees_.

“By the way, I just heard this from Ryuunosuke-san: keep the plan same as planned, but leave one corner of the room empty.”

“Huh? ...but why?”

Shirou shrugs. “Beats me. But Ryuunosuke-san looked like he was gonna have a terrible headache...”

“Oh, the horror,” Kakeru deadpans, “You should have kissed it better.”

“Yanno what,” Shirou hums, deep in thought, “Maybe I should.”

“– wait, _seriously???_ ”

* * *

  


“I brought the arrangement,” Ushio huffs. Now, normally, he would not be huffing – for all that he prefers staying in, he _is_ an athlete, and a pretty damned good one at that – but he’d just spent the entire afternoon chasing down blasted Minori and blasted Kaoru for suggesting a very lewd present (basically: why does Ushio not fashion his arrangement after genitalia? BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE INDECENT, BUT OF COURSE, ARE THESE CHILDREN FOR REAL?), and why in the world does the rendezvous point have to be on the fourth floor?

Hinata looks the flowers over, and beams. “It looks lovely, _senpai_ , Ichijoudani- _senpai_ would like it, I think!”

“Thank you, Mitsutsuka.” He’d heard that Hinata grew up in a rather traditional family, and if the child knows about the arts as much as that upbringing would suggest, this is truly high praise. “I sure did wish I had more time to work on this, though, but with the school schedule being what it is now –”

“You senior students really do have it tough, huh, Azabu- _senpai_?” Satsuma says, smiling slightly, before turning to Ryou and glaring – “All of you, busy with studies – except _this one_ –”

“Hey, don’t look at me like that, I’m helping _now_ aren’t I?” Ryou says. “I’m even carrying the box you dropped earlier, cute lil’bro~”

“Do not in any way insist I am ever related to you,” Satsuma snaps. “Also, are all the boxes here already?”

“Yup. God, I never thought Marume and Shido had such a large pile of game stuff. Would Ichijoudani even like those?”

“Yeah, I guess?” Hinata says, taking the boxes off Ryou’s hands and adding them to the pile. “Mitsuki- _senpai_ says _senpai_ really likes playing games – oh, also, Shirou-kun and Kakeru-kun ran off, I think they were going to get the photobook? Here, they have pictures – it looks hardbound and really fancy!”

 “It’s amazing how they could get something of that quality so quickly, and at such a low price, too,” Ushio says, looking at the cellphone screen, curiously, but warily, as if still afraid something would burst out of the screen and bite him. Not as if Hinata would ever know this, though.

“Apparently it’s the same printing press that helps Kakeru-kun with all his previous photobook orders! For his photobooks of, ahh, never mind...oh!”

“What’s the matter, Hinata?” Satsuma asks.

“Mitsuki- _senpai_ says he can’t hold back Ichijoudani- _senpai_ any longer! Apparently he got a package notification?”

“Now isn’t that so inconvenient...So is everything all here? Ryou, check.”

“Oi, Satsuma, don’t order me ‘round like your dog or somethin’ – aw, fine, all right. Azabu’s flowers, your freshies’ cake, all the gaming stuff, I think Mitsuki gave him a box full of houseware store GCs and here we have – wait a sec, what is _this_?”

* * *

  


The sliding door slams open.

“Aww, if it isn’t the birthday boy,” Takato says, his eyes crinkling. “Liked it?”

“I need to talk to you, Kiyosu.”

“You already are, hun.”

Rei looks at him, wine-red eyes piercing, and his voice is so calm it gives Takato the chills. “ _Alone_.”

“Goodbye, Takato,” Ryuunosuke hums, taking Hozumi and Itto by the arm, herding them out the door. “We’ll visit your funeral, don’t worry.”

“OI YOU GET BACK HERE – oh hi there Rei, didn’t expect you to, haha, block the door so suddenly, haha...yanno you look great today, didya do something different to your hair, or...?”

“An _eight-foot-tall teddy bear_ , Kiyosu.” Rei says, “Eight feet of synthetic fur and cotton fluff. Those catch on everything. Eight. Blasted. _Feet_.”

“...please be gentle with me _I only meant well_ –” Takato blurts out, covering his face with his hands.

Rei takes him by the wrists, anyway. Takato wishes he doesn’t, like, squeeze ‘em or something, because Rei’s iron claw is better than Takato’s.

“...you didn’t have to get me something,” Rei continues, his voice quieter now, but Takato doesn’t see his face and all so he has no clue if this is for the better or for the worse. “Something so, so tedious, and large, and terribly impractical –”

“C’mon, you didn’t have to hate it _that_ much,” Takato pouts, “It was pretty hard to get that delivered here, yanno...”

Rei keeps on talking, as if Takato didn’t say anything at all, and his next words come in a bit of a rush. “You didn’t have to get me such a large, tedious, impractical thing to cuddle with. I already have one.”

“Huh? But where...”

“I’m looking at it right now.”

Takato carefully pries his hands off his face, and, sure enough –

Rei is looking straight at him.

“Aww, honey,” Takato croons, pulling Rei into an embrace, jostling the party hat strapped onto his head a little. “My birthday isn’t ‘til July, yanno.”

“Yes, I know.” Rei says, settling into the crook of Takato’s neck, “And that is why you’re the one who’s going to help me carry that humongous bear back home. But before that, one more thing –”

“Another request? Aren’t we being a little bit greedy toda – mmph.”

Rei pulls away with a rather audible ‘pop’, and smirks. “It’s my birthday. I can afford to be.”

* * *

  


Mitsuki leaves the box outside the club room door.

“One last present,” Mitsuki stands up, dials, and waits for the other person to pick up. “Hello, Keishi?”

“Yeah, Mitsuki...why?”

Mitsuki grins. “Turn off your cameras.”

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BDAY REI!!! God this was supposed to be longer but...I need to be up for work in less than five hours...
> 
> Takato gave Rei [one of these](http://en.rocketnews24.com/2015/11/20/the-rn24-giant-bear-incident-eight-foot-tall-teddy-twins-appear-in-our-office-steal-our-hearts/). How did he afford this? My guess is tournament prize money, but seeing as Takato is a total lazeball re: tournaments, your guess is just as good as mine.
> 
> Anyway, that's all for now, I really need to get to sleep, and hopefully you'd liked reading this, somehow!


End file.
